This Is Goodbye (For Now)

Before the makeover: the story behind Other Men.

You won’t be hearing from me for awhile.

For a year, I’ve been experimenting with a relaunch for Other Men, aiming to restart the podcast, produce more videos, and events while sharing with you here every week. I’ve experimented, made some decisions, walked away from a number of ideas.

This is gonna take more time. And focus.

I’m taking a break—a summer sabbatical.

Before I return in September with news and, perhaps, a makeover, I figure it’s a good time to make a reintroduction. You can treat what I share below as a “summer reading/listening list,” or, at the very least, it’ll give you a clearer picture of who I am and what this space is all about.

I do have one ask—just one ask.

If this space has been helpful to you in any way, please let me know why or how. What’s resonated, and what do you want more of? All you need to do is reply to this post in your inbox (it goes directly to my email). It would truly mean a great deal if you could take a few seconds (or minutes) to let me know what is working for you here at Other Men. Thank you, friend.

Ok, now for that reintroduction.

---

WHO AM I?

I’m a Maryland-made, Boricua producer, writer, and editor for non-fiction audio and digital media.

My work has been nominated for a Peabody, has made The Atlantic, The New York Times, The New Yorker annual “best of” lists, and has been recognized by Vulture, TIME Magazine, CBC, Los Angeles Review of Books, and The Financial Times.

Before working in digital media, I was a teacher, social worker, comedian, part-time mascot, and b-boy. I currently live in New York City with my wife, Caitlin, and an emo pit bull named Soca.

Here are two pictures of me with cars I didn’t own—20 years apart.

WHAT IS OTHER MEN?

Masculinity has been my beat for over a decade, but it's been my obsession for much longer.

I was 14 when my father died. Facing the prospect of raising an adolescent boy into a man, my mother gave me my father's electric razor and a subscription to Esquire, accompanied by a sort of "we're gonna have to figure this out" shrug.

Never being too athletic or aggressive, I always felt slightly outside the "boys' bubble" as a kid. As a teen, it got even more confusing. I placed my guidance in media, with men's media publications like Esquire, GQ, and Details leading the way.

When I reached my 30s, I hit a crisis point. I felt like every magazine, movie, and article about men had been lying to me. Where was the voice considering leg lengthening because he was tired of being short? How about the weird feelings that come up when faced with putting an exclamation point in a text to a thread? Or just how the hell do I mitigate these feelings of competition with the men in my life, my partners, and myself?

In 2017, I worked to launch a project that would explore all these questions in a wry, cheeky, candid, and sincere way. The anonymity of audio felt like the best starting place, and that's led me to this space today.

Other Men is the "magazine" arm of the podcast Other Men Need Help (or just Other Men, for short).

We're experimenting with some new messaging (and possibly a new title for everything). Currently, we explore all things Other Men as entertaining deep dives into the weird, quiet, and hilarious ways masculinity manifests in our lives.

But the best description came from Olympian, writer, and cultural critic Jason Rogers:

"[Other Men Need Help] takes what might seem like a banality of daily life and turns it into an excavation of the masculine mind."

(Btw, Rogers writes The Mandate—I highly recommend subscribing.)

However you slice it, Other Men is a non-prescriptive ride into the private thoughts, behaviors, and beauty around masculinity.

We're not preachy.

No guru-y shit.

But we don't waver on being gutsy in our shares and stories. I'm exploring this with you, and you should leave every post, episode, and event feeling more connected, with some motivation to reflect and build deeper bonds with folks in your life. Lofty goals, perhaps, but that’s my honest hope when I make anything to share with you.

You should be guffawing a bunch, too—this space often aims for zaniness.

WHERE DO I START?

If this is your first or 50th time here, below are some other popular posts, episodes, and stories to give you a sense of what this space is all about:

BRUTALLY HONEST RELATIONSHIP STORIES 🤕

I Looked Up Your Ex 💪🏼
When you find out that her ex looks like a Hemsworth.

She Makes More 💰
What happens in his head when he learns you make more money.

Shirtless Studs and Southwest Salads 💬
What’s behind those “bluey’s” (out of the blue messages) from your ex?

Tasting Menus and Masculinity: A Honeymoon Reflection 👨🏻‍🍳
How fine dining reveals insecurities about status and masculine identity.

My Wife is My Best Friend 💍
What those five words really reveal.

FRIENDSHIP & LOVE 💙

Boy Talk 📞
We captured a miraculous love affair between two widowers.

I Miss You. Period. 🤫
Based on five years of feedback, this episode has apparently saved a lot of friendships. It’s a fan favorite episode (and one of ours, too).

What Happens When Friendships Die Without a Burial ❌
How class aspirations plus time can fracture childhood bonds.

This F'ing Guy: How to Come Through for an Old Friend // Airport Amigo 🛬
The elegant power of the airport pickup.

How to Feel More at Home With Male Friendship 🏠
Where a friend can show up in your home (even when they’re not around).

MEN: COMPETITION, BODIES, BONDING RITUALS 🏋🏼‍♀️

A Paper Trail of Macho Moments: Masculinity Incident Reports Explained 🕵🏻‍♂️
Tracking the drama and warmth of masculinity—one incident report at a time.

Don’t Sit Next To Me 🚉
What if the quietest men are the ones worth listening to?

Secret Handshake 🤝
That unique fingerprint between buds.

Coverboys 📸
Ronald Young, Jr. searches for famous men who look the way we actually look.

Men Asking Men for Comfort is Still a Big No-No 🫂
It wasn’t always this way.

“WHAT THE HELL AM I?” CULTURAL STORIES 🤷🏻

La Brega (El Gran Varón — Who Was Simón? is a personal fave) 🇵🇷
Two seasons as writer, editor, producer about the Puerto Rican Experience.

S***hole Country 🇬🇭
Peabody-nominated series about identity, migration, and what it really means to belong.

Crossing Gang Lines: Origins of the Latino Comedy Special 🎤
A 30-year-old VHS tape and the links it holds to my career.

The Pittie Dialogues 🐾
What an ambiguous ethnic look and a pit bull will grant you access to.

The Most Humiliating Moment in My Career 🤦🏻
The quiet shame of not measuring up—until you realize maybe you always did.

Where Are My People: When Connection Comes at the Price of Identity 🔎
A reflection on identity, addiction, and brotherhood.

---

Lastly, I've never done this all on my own.

Here are the pets we’ve parented since the show started:

Here are the people who’ve worked on Other Men over the years:

Finally, here’s my spouse, Caitlin. They are always very patient, direct, supportive, brilliant. I love this picture of her.

I’ll be back in September (for our eighth anniversary). Be well and enjoy that summer you got ahead of you, unless you’re in the Southern Hemisphere. If so, go hiking or something.

Adios, ciao ciao, byeeeeeeeee,
Mark✌🏼

Want more?
We’ve always got pod eps for you.
Discover even more weekly on our Instagram and YouTube.

Liked what you read? Click Share and/or the ❤️ button! It helps more people find Other Men and is a swell way to show your support.